Please step away from the mouse.

When you call me for technical support, please listen. There is nothing worse than me walking you through whatever process we happen to be talking about and you not giving me all the information, or just randomly clicking like a spastic colon. I particularly get annoyed when I ask what the prompt currently says and you pick and choose which words to tell me. Granted you're not technically lying, but when you read "THANK YOU for deleting all of your system files. PLEASE CLICK OK to permanently remove them" as "Thank you. Please Click OK." I'm screwed. Now YOU have hosed your computer and you're going to blame ME. Also, when I say click on the download button and you click 15-20 times on any random link on the page, it's not OK. It truly sucks. I really try to have patience, but if you're too stupid to work a computer my patience isn't going to help.

I guess it's hard to justify asking you to be sensible when you're paying me, and you're right. After all the more you screw up the more money I make. I just need to try to get over changing attitudes and just keep cashing the checks.

Idiots

I've decided to vent on some work issues that have cropped up…

First, learn how to spell. There's a sign up sheet in the break room right now and someone is bringing "condoments" to a baby shower. Now that is flat out funny. The problem is no one is getting it. Come on, when there's that kind of humor just waiting out there you need to jump on it!

One more thing, learn how to park. Those yellow lines are there for a reason. I already know you're super cool, you don't have to back in your POS $8,000 ride. My ride sucks and I park nose first. I'm a realist. Next time I'm going to see just how close I can get to your drivers door. I'm not really worried about you denting it, how would I know?