Tommy H. Christ

So my boy Tom Cruise is being called Jesus. What a freaking joke. It’s pretty obvious that my short stint at Scientology for Sex left me a little tainted by the cult of personality, but still any human being with a conscience, however mutated it may be, realizes how ludicrous this is. The man is clearly insane. Have you seen Nicole Kidman???

This is wrong on so many levels it’s hard to talk about. It’s not even polite. L. Ron Hubbard is a SCIENCE FICTION writer. I may not believe that a book written after the fact can be considered prophecy either, but Battlefield Earth is not Revelations.

Time will tell if Tommy Boy has the stuff to last for thousands of years. I won’t be around for it of course, but maybe I’ll get lucky and be there for the whole crucifixion thing. It’ll probably be on Oprah.

Bring on the Bowls

Actually, the bowls suck. How can the Buckeyes have 51 days between their last regular season game and the “National Championship Game”? That right there is ridiculous. Now I understand that these are *students* and their *grades* will suffer if they play more football. Bullshit. These are paid athletes that are only in the fricking game because the NFL (no fun league) won’t let them play for 3 years after high school. Sure, they don’t have an NFL body and all that, the ONLY good argument by the way, but it’s not like they’re actually taking any of these classes, excluding Stanford players, my apologies John Lynch.

Let’s have a playoff series. Even if it’s only 4 teams in the playoffs – but I’d rather see more. How about 8 bowl games then semifinals and finals. Lots of money, plenty of TV, everybody wins. Crap, the coaches are getting 2 million, maybe they can wait 2 weeks to go on vacation. Everyone knows that it’s all about football and money, not educating our youth. Education is for those that can’t play football.

Besides the obvious money, who wouldn’t want to see Boise State and Florida play? That would most likely be a hell of a lot of fun.

So screw the BCS.