Prince is King

I didn’t think I liked Prince.  I KNOW I didn’t like him when Purple Rain was new.  I actually went to the drive-in theater to see it.  I didn’t see it.  I don’t think I missed anything.  The dude is a tad overboard you know?  He’s like a little Little Richard.  Oddly enough I like Little Richard…  The funny thing is I really liked his halftime show at XLI.  A lot.

His guitar playing has improved over the years.  He used to just try to make as much noise as possible, where now he used the same techniques as an advantage not a distraction.  It doesn’t hurt that he picked a couple of good tunes to play.  Twin dancers doesn’t hurt either, although as soon as I saw the woman in the white cape run by, the first thing to run through my mind was “FREAK!”.  Then she sang.  I love when semi-talented musicians have enough confidence to surround themselves with talented musicians.  It deflates the ego balloon.

Now I find out some people are outraged.  WTF?  They think his shadow cast on the billowing sheet was phallic.  Well let me tell you something, a guitar hanging around waist level is phallic all by itself.  Jimi took the guitar as phallus to a new level.   I think people need to shut up.  I know that’s easier said than done with our so called “freedom of speech”, but give me a freaking break.  I’ll be honest, I didn’t mind seeing Janet Jacksons strangely shaped breast either.  Let’s try to focus on real issues and quit whining about things that don’t matter.  Let’s leave all 5′2″ of Prince alone, he needs all the help he can get.  Now if you don’t mind I’m going to party like it’s 1999.

Tommy H. Christ

So my boy Tom Cruise is being called Jesus. What a freaking joke. It’s pretty obvious that my short stint at Scientology for Sex left me a little tainted by the cult of personality, but still any human being with a conscience, however mutated it may be, realizes how ludicrous this is. The man is clearly insane. Have you seen Nicole Kidman???

This is wrong on so many levels it’s hard to talk about. It’s not even polite. L. Ron Hubbard is a SCIENCE FICTION writer. I may not believe that a book written after the fact can be considered prophecy either, but Battlefield Earth is not Revelations.

Time will tell if Tommy Boy has the stuff to last for thousands of years. I won’t be around for it of course, but maybe I’ll get lucky and be there for the whole crucifixion thing. It’ll probably be on Oprah.

Bring on the Bowls

Actually, the bowls suck. How can the Buckeyes have 51 days between their last regular season game and the “National Championship Game”? That right there is ridiculous. Now I understand that these are *students* and their *grades* will suffer if they play more football. Bullshit. These are paid athletes that are only in the fricking game because the NFL (no fun league) won’t let them play for 3 years after high school. Sure, they don’t have an NFL body and all that, the ONLY good argument by the way, but it’s not like they’re actually taking any of these classes, excluding Stanford players, my apologies John Lynch.

Let’s have a playoff series. Even if it’s only 4 teams in the playoffs - but I’d rather see more. How about 8 bowl games then semifinals and finals. Lots of money, plenty of TV, everybody wins. Crap, the coaches are getting 2 million, maybe they can wait 2 weeks to go on vacation. Everyone knows that it’s all about football and money, not educating our youth. Education is for those that can’t play football.

Besides the obvious money, who wouldn’t want to see Boise State and Florida play? That would most likely be a hell of a lot of fun.

So screw the BCS.

Now that’s a big noggin

Hank Aaron. Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds. He's got a good name. He's got a great swing. He's an asshole. If only Barry Bonds could learn a few things from his predecessors, maybe the world would have a different attitude towards him.

I admit I didn't know much about Ruth besides his legend until my son did a book report on him. I had no idea the work (and money) Ruth put in to help underpriveleged children. He took it upon himself to help the school he went to as a boy and almost singlehandedly paid to have it rebuilt when it was destroyed by fire. Sure the guy knew how to party, and he did that very well too, but he recognized the role he had. He didn't have to sign autographs but he did…always. He especially didn't have to like the media. We all know about NY and it's infamous media, but Ruth embraced them. It's hard to write something bad about a guy who just bought you dinner and all the drinks you can handle.

Maybe Barry could learn something? If he could just stop with the mood swings and answer a few questions civilly (oh wait, aren't mood swings a symptom of something…) maybe the writers would be more inclined to attribute his back pimples as "oily skin" or the size of his freakin head as "maturity". Come on, lots of people put on 80+ pounds after they turn 35 but it's usually not in your freakin head! Just quit being a jerk, and start kissing some media ass you moron. Just because the SF media gloss over your inablity to make a catch in the outfield, doesn't mean no one noticed. The fans deserve more. 714 is a HUGE number. It's also a huge responsibility. We all know the clear and the cream wasn't a mistake, and it was done with full knowledge of the repercussions. It's a tough game, and it's incredibly tough to perform at that level for that long. But let's get serious. The fans aren't complete idiots, at least not ALL of them.

Crackberry

Now I get it. The BlackBerry prayer. Most of us have laughed at the ubergeeks with their BlackBerry's checking their email at all times and in all places. I mean, who cares about their email when they're out on a hike or watching a hockey game? It's all about trying to be important, those of us have-nots like to say. Look at that guy, he thinks he's so cool.

Come to find out, he is cool. The blackberry is surprisingly functional. I've just received my first one, a Verizon 7130e. It's complete with tethering option to become a full-fledged broadband modem for my laptop. Yep, broadband. Well, in certain select cities… Still, it has Internet access and email. Oh yeah, it's also a phone. But really who cares if it's a phone? Well I do for one. When the first PDA phones came out, you'd see people holding what appeared to be books to their head and talking. At least the bluetooth headset came along. Now the 7130e actually is close to a phone in looks as well as function. Maybe it's missing voice activated dialing, but let's not get too picky.

So why would your average user need to check their email before they go to bed, on the way to work, and pretty much everywhere else? Well, they don't. But they still will with one of these babies. There's some kind of strange euphoria when you can delete spam from the parking lot of your work before you go in. You KNOW your inbox will be clean so you can go get that cup of coffee first.

It's an addiction, no doubt about it. It's also one of the first ones to get it right.