Jazz Beat Lakers!!!

Yeah, not exactly.  So this is what happens when you bring back your “superstar” from an “injury” huh?  I really used to like Boozer.  I mean who wouldn’t want a Utah jersey with Boozer on the back???  I know I would!  But his injury was a freaking joke, then he brings the teams defense down to his level.  The best thing that can happen is to opt out of the contract Carlos.

Carlos aside, there is no chance the Jazz beat the Lakers.  All they needed was one more win and they could have played the Nuggets.  Maybe this is for the best as no one expects them to win?  And all of those lucky fans get to see Kobe at the ESA.  Speaking of, I hate Laker fans.  No real reason, just do.  Sort of like Steeler fans.  Any idiot can root for a winner, but it takes a MAN to root for a loser.  Believe me, I know…

Browns Suck

News flash!  The Browns Suck!  Oh, that’s right, they always suck. 

Years ago, there was a young fella named Tim Couch.  All the potential in the world thrown behind an awful offensive line.  So everyone wanted the backup, Kelly Holcomb to play.  Well, Timmy got injured so Holcomb was going in…and the crowd cheered while Timmy was laying on the field.  It’s rough in that stadium sure, and drunk, but you’d think people would cheer Kelly, not boo Tim.  The good news is that all of those loyal Dawg fans learned their lesson and would continue to root and support their team in a positive way.

Up until Sunday afternoon.  Derek Anderson, who happens to suck also, was laying there on the field clutching his knee when those loyal fans started cheering.  I’m pretty sure they weren’t cheering for Dorsey.  Now I know as much as the next Browns fan that Quinn is going to be the guy.  For good or bad, it’s going to be his team, but can anyone actually cheer finishing this season with Dorsey at the helm?  The guy was a college stud but so was Ryan Leaf.  He’s a great third quarterback and Derek is a good second quarterback.  Who would you rather have on the field???

I wonder how long it will be before Quinn wakes up on the field to hear the crowd cheering?  Hopefully a very, very long time.

Prince is King

I didn’t think I liked Prince.  I KNOW I didn’t like him when Purple Rain was new.  I actually went to the drive-in theater to see it.  I didn’t see it.  I don’t think I missed anything.  The dude is a tad overboard you know?  He’s like a little Little Richard.  Oddly enough I like Little Richard…  The funny thing is I really liked his halftime show at XLI.  A lot.

His guitar playing has improved over the years.  He used to just try to make as much noise as possible, where now he used the same techniques as an advantage not a distraction.  It doesn’t hurt that he picked a couple of good tunes to play.  Twin dancers doesn’t hurt either, although as soon as I saw the woman in the white cape run by, the first thing to run through my mind was “FREAK!”.  Then she sang.  I love when semi-talented musicians have enough confidence to surround themselves with talented musicians.  It deflates the ego balloon.

Now I find out some people are outraged.  WTF?  They think his shadow cast on the billowing sheet was phallic.  Well let me tell you something, a guitar hanging around waist level is phallic all by itself.  Jimi took the guitar as phallus to a new level.   I think people need to shut up.  I know that’s easier said than done with our so called “freedom of speech”, but give me a freaking break.  I’ll be honest, I didn’t mind seeing Janet Jacksons strangely shaped breast either.  Let’s try to focus on real issues and quit whining about things that don’t matter.  Let’s leave all 5′2″ of Prince alone, he needs all the help he can get.  Now if you don’t mind I’m going to party like it’s 1999.

Tommy H. Christ

So my boy Tom Cruise is being called Jesus. What a freaking joke. It’s pretty obvious that my short stint at Scientology for Sex left me a little tainted by the cult of personality, but still any human being with a conscience, however mutated it may be, realizes how ludicrous this is. The man is clearly insane. Have you seen Nicole Kidman???

This is wrong on so many levels it’s hard to talk about. It’s not even polite. L. Ron Hubbard is a SCIENCE FICTION writer. I may not believe that a book written after the fact can be considered prophecy either, but Battlefield Earth is not Revelations.

Time will tell if Tommy Boy has the stuff to last for thousands of years. I won’t be around for it of course, but maybe I’ll get lucky and be there for the whole crucifixion thing. It’ll probably be on Oprah.

Bring on the Bowls

Actually, the bowls suck. How can the Buckeyes have 51 days between their last regular season game and the “National Championship Game”? That right there is ridiculous. Now I understand that these are *students* and their *grades* will suffer if they play more football. Bullshit. These are paid athletes that are only in the fricking game because the NFL (no fun league) won’t let them play for 3 years after high school. Sure, they don’t have an NFL body and all that, the ONLY good argument by the way, but it’s not like they’re actually taking any of these classes, excluding Stanford players, my apologies John Lynch.

Let’s have a playoff series. Even if it’s only 4 teams in the playoffs – but I’d rather see more. How about 8 bowl games then semifinals and finals. Lots of money, plenty of TV, everybody wins. Crap, the coaches are getting 2 million, maybe they can wait 2 weeks to go on vacation. Everyone knows that it’s all about football and money, not educating our youth. Education is for those that can’t play football.

Besides the obvious money, who wouldn’t want to see Boise State and Florida play? That would most likely be a hell of a lot of fun.

So screw the BCS.